Crystal Madrilejos

Design & Creative

Ever since Ellis arrived, it’s been non-stop craziness. Not in a bad way. Just really, really busy. Andrew and I always wonder what we did with all our free time before we had kids. We were productive, for sure. But, I can’t even fathom that much free time anymore. My perception of free time has forever been altered. If I can offer any advice to any person who doesn’t have kids yet (and plans on having them in the future), it would be: Don’t waste time. We did a lot before we had kids. We traveled, we played music, we built things, we renovated a house. Many of these things we still do now, but with much less frequency and a lot less spontaneity, and I STILL feel like we didn’t take advantage of our kid-free days!

Becoming a parent has been one of the most fulfilling and joyful experiences I’ve had thus far in life. And I wouldn’t want to be this busy for anything other than my two babies and Andrew. It’s just a fact that our lives are busier now that we are a family of four.

How does a family balance work, keep the house under control, spend time with the kiddos, not to mention the spouse, and still do things that make one feel whole (for me, that means gardening, crafts, making stuff and having eternal side projects)? It’s a challenge, to say the least. But somehow with the million things that have to be done everyday, we manage.

I admit that we have a unique situation; a situation that in recent years probably became less unique due to the recession. I’m a working Mama and Andrew is a stay-at-home Papa. It was an arrangement that we would have never imagined, but has turned out to be a true blessing. Andrew is an, honest-to-goodness, domestic genius. He somehow manages to take care of the kids, take care of our home, cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, check the mail, take out the garbage and compost, mail our packages, pay our bills, bake bread on a regular basis, and still do freelance work on the side. I don’t know how he does it! I work 40+ hours a week as Creative Director at a start-up, and can barely manage regular bathing. Also, a one-income household is no joke in this day and age. So, there are a lot of things that we go without because of this choice we made. But having one of us home to help keep our lives intact is well worth the monetary sacrifices we make.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about specific things we have found that help balance work and life. This is what I came up with:

1. Sharing the load
Neither of us is above doing anything that helps keep our family sane and happy. Andrew may not work a traditional 9-5, but he does so much at home that I don’t have to worry about working at the office AND at home. But I also realize that Andrew has a tough job too, so I try to keep my mess to a minimum and give him a break from the kids as often as I can.

2. Not owning a television
We haven’t owned a TV in years. Not because we don’t like television or think it’s evil or something. There are lots of television shows that we enjoy. We just prefer to watch TV shows when a series is over and we can get every season on DVD (Six Feet Under box set, yes please!) There are just a lot of other things we would rather be doing than watching TV.

*One note for the sake of transparency, we do have multiple computers AND a movie projector for watching Netflix or DVDs. Andrew watches documentaries and movies at night before bed on an iPad and Q loves watching movies and Yo Gabba Gabba. Also, Andrew loves sports. So, we aren’t completely screen-free. I watch hardly anything at all, but I also sit in front of a computer all day at work and the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit in front of another one.

3. The hours between 6am to 8am and  9pm to Midnight
These are the only hours we have to ourselves to do the things we need/want to do, without relying on each other to watch the kids. AKA the time to get stuff done (AKA showering.)

4. Accepting that our free time is limited for the next few years
This was a hard one for me. After Andrew telling me this over and over, and me being in denial, it finally sunk in after Ellis was born. Time has sped up double time these past 7 months and this made me see that Quil and Ellis will only be babies for such a short period of time! It makes me and Andrew both a little misty eyed to think that they are growing up so fast, and this makes it a much easier to devote every waking minute to them. Because we know we only have so much time with them before they grow up and don’t need us like they do now. Also, whenever I complain about not having time to do “stuff I want to do,” Andrew reminds me “that’s what retirement’s for.” Thanks, honey :P

5. Waking up early
This is just par for the parenting course. We don’t even set an alarm anymore. It’s amazing how much you can get done before 9am.

6. Talk to one another
We struggle with this one still, and it’s probably the most important. We lean heavily on one another and the last thing we want is for any resentment to build up between us. Sometimes our lives can get so chaotic that it’s like we are in the same room but we can’t see each other. And that’s never good. It can lead to feeling unappreciated and overwhelmed, with each person feeling like they are going it alone. Sometimes, we just have to step back and breath and remind each other that we’re a team.

7. Give up control
If we’re going to expect each other to make decisions for the family, we have to trust each others judgement and not try to control everything. This was another thing that was hard for me because I’m a slight control freak and I like to do things my way (who doesn’t?!) But just like Andrew wouldn’t come to my work and tell me how to do my job, I’m not going to come home and complain about how he does things, even if he doesn’t do things the way I would do them. He has our family’s best interest in mind, and that’s good enough for me.

How do you guys keep balance in your family life? We always welcome new ideas and suggestions because we don’t have it all figured out! Does anyone really?

xo,
c.

P.S. Here is a great series that ran on A Cup of Jo on work/family life balance.

I mentioned in my last post that I’d post about the Totoro party, so here I am making good on that! The party, overall, was a success. Considering how little planning I did and just sort of threw some things together at the last minute, I was pretty happy with how the decorations turned out. If you aren’t familiar with the movie “My Neighbor Totoro,” you should check it out. Quil loves it (obviously,) as do Andrew and I
Also, BIG THANKS to my sister Maria for hosting and helping with decorating and making food and baking the mini-cakes. She is the best planner and most organized person I know. No family holiday or event could take place without her. The members of our family would all be arriving at different locations at different times and there’d be no food if she didn’t wrangle us all together! She really is “the glue” in our family.
Here are various photos of the different details. Totoro is a forest spirit so a lot of the theme was basically nature related. 
The table center piece consisted of faux-plants, dried moss, grapevines, fabric flowers, and flower stickers. I hot-glued dried moss to wooden boxes from the dollar aisle at Target, we then used as risers for the cakes. 
These wooden acorns were made from mini-wooden eggs found at the local craft store that I stained and painted to look like the acorns the Mei collects in the film. It’s hard to see in this photo, but they have a clear coat of gloss spray on them as well. 
Here is a wider view of the table with all the mini-cakes (there were five birthdays being celebrated. We have a big family!) All the faux-plants were purchased from a local craft and hobby store. 
In place of party hats, we had a few leaf hats based on the scene from the movie where Totoro has a leaf on his head to protect from the rain. These were pieces of felt cut in the shape of a leaf, with a little extra piece for the stem, hot glued to brown headbands.
We happened by this outfit for Ellis at Target randomly. It’s supposed to be a rabbit, but I thought it looked close enough to a Totoro costume to warrant its purchase. Plus, it’s just super cute. Target has that ability to lure you in with their low-prices and high-cuteness-factor. It’s a dangerous situation to go into when shopping last minute for a party!
This paper cut mobile was supposed to have three tiers, with Totoro at the top and then the two smaller Totoros (the blue and the white ones) hanging below. However, the pieces for the smaller Totoros were so tiny, there was no way I was going to be able to cut them out within a reasonable amount of time. Mind you, I was working on this around 10pm the night before the party (because I’m nuts.) So I decided to forgo the smaller guys even though the OCD/perfectionist in my brain was giving me hard time. In the end, it still turned out fine.

And a few more shots of the mini-cakes my sister made. You can see some Soot Sprites peeking out here and there. For these, we bought black pompoms and stick-on googly eyes. They were so simple, my 4-year-old niece was able to make them. We had her churning out Soot Sprites at maximum speed! The little pink, orange and aqua flowers are from the dollar aisle in Target. They came as long ribbons, but I just snipped a few strands apart and sprinkled them around. They actually reminded me of the candy the Soot Sprites eat in Spirited Away.

So, that was our joint-birthday Totoro Party, in a nutshell! I can relax for another 5 months until Ellis has her FIRST BIRTHDAY. Yikes. Hers should be extra nuts because she’s a summer birthday! I’ll be sure to “over-do” like I always do, according to Andrew.
xo,
c.
Whew! This past month has been a whirlwind. I just wanted to pop in and say “hi!” because I know I’ve been absent here lately. Work has been super busy and, as per usual, I’ve got my plate full of other fun side projects which haven’t left me with any free minutes to just sit and type. My blog RSS reader is up to over 1000 unread items because I haven’t had time to catch up on my regular reads. First world problems, I know.
The intense work days that start early and end late combined with a lack of sleep have finally caught up to me. Ellis is transitioning into going all night without nursing. She has cried for about 20 minutes somewhere around the hours of 2 or 3am for the past few nights. And Quil is in this terrible phase of only wanting to sleep in our bed and he’s an awful bed mate, forever tossing and turning and kicking. It’s been extra hard since Quil and Ellis share a room and we haven’t yet found a balance of them co-existing in that space without one waking the other. I slept horribly last night and when I did sleep I had nightmares of work projects gone awry. Ugh. So, today I felt rundown and just plain exhausted. 
So, tonight I’ve finally able to just (sort of) relax and write this post and work on a little crafty project: Wood Acorns for our Totoro-themed party this Saturday! Q turned 3-years-old last weekend but this Saturday we’re celebrating all the February/March birthdays in my family – there are five.
I found some little wood eggs at the local craft store that I stained to look like the acorns from Totoro. They still need a few finishing touches, but I’ll post finished pictures when they are done.
If you’ve never seen My Neighbor Totoro, I highly recommend it. Quil loves it, as do Andrew and I.
xo,
c.

On Creativity, On Family

Q Says Draw

Just wanted to pop in and let you all know that we have a new feature called Q Says Draw where we will be posting drawings that Andrew and I do at the request of Quil. Lately, he’s been doing this a lot, requesting us to draw this or that, and usually it’s of the same thing over and over and over (as you’ll see!) We’ve been trying to document as many of these drawings as we can, though I know there are many that we forgot along the way. Unfortunately, we missed the phase of “Draw a truck with a Christmas tree in the back.” I drew so many of those. Maybe I can still find a few to photograph…

In the meantime, enjoy his current obsession here. Or you can follow the new link the right sidebar. It’s hard to miss. It’s huge.

[Drawing doodle from 2004-ish]

xo,
c.

I’m a working Mama. I’m also nursing a 5-month old baby, so that means I have to pump while at work. When I went back to work in November after my maternity leave, my co-workers gave me a potted Amaryllis bulb as a “Welcome Back” gift. Turns out, this is the PERFECT gift for a pumping Mama!

Pumping isn’t the most glamorous or the most fun thing to do with one’s time. It’s a lot of just sitting there (thank goodness for smart phones and this bra.) And you look and feel like a milking machine with tubes and bottles and plastic breast shields. It’s quite a sight.

However, I’m fortunate to at least have a pumping room at my office with a lot of natural light. When they gave me this potted Amaryllis bulb I decided, rather than put it at my desk, I’d put it in my pumping room. These past two months I’ve been back at work I’ve been able to watch my plant grow and it’s been absolutely fascinating, calming, and peaceful. Since Amaryllis are very fast growing it gives me something to look forward to every time I have to pump. This week, it bloomed (as you can see in the photo above.) Here is a rough time-lapse from the past two months:

This could be a great gift for a non-working Mama as well. It’s easy to care for and has a big impact when it blooms.

Any working Mama’s out there who pump during their workday? How do you pass your time while pumping?

xo,
c.

As promised, I put together the pattern for the crocheted toy bags that I’ve been making lately. This is the first pattern I’ve written, so bear with me and please let me know if you find any errors or if any of the directions are confusing. (more…)

Like most households with small children, the toy situation seems to get out of control fast. You somehow go from 0 to 1,000,000 toys in only a few short years! They multiply like a wet Mogwai and next thing you know you are constantly stepping on small sharp things and doing a monthly under-the-couch sweep of wayward balls and anything with wheels. You have entire sections of your home devoted to them and somehow they end up everywhere but there. You get so sick of putting things away that you eventually just get a huge bin that you throw everything into only to have your kid dump it out the minute you put the last toy away. Andrew said that one time he intentionally didn’t pick up after Quil just to see what the house would look like in one day. He said by mid-afternoon, it looked like someone had robbed the place. Drawers out, couch cushions overturned, cabinets open!

But one thing we learned with Quil is that he is pretty good about putting things away if each type of toy has its own container and not just one catch-all bin. We started off with just cloth bags that you sometimes get when you buy a pair of shoes. But we only had a couple of those. So I decided to start making some crocheted ones. Now he’s got bags for puzzle pieces, train sets, musical instruments, cars, and he can remember which ones go where for the most part.

Don’t get me wrong. His toys still get everywhere, but it does seem more manageable when everything has a designated bin/bag. I still need to make a few more, but these are super easy to make and work up pretty quick since I crochet three strands at once with a large hook. Check back later this week for a pattern if you are interested in making some for yourself.

***UPDATE***
The pattern is now available here.

xo,
c.

I honestly think there is nothing more wondrous, beautiful, and inspiring than the natural world. Rereading that sentence, I realized I probably just ripped off a line from David Attenborough from the Planet Earth documentary series. But it’s true! Whenever we go on walks, Andrew, Quil and I are aways on the lookout for “treasures.” Whether, it’s rocks or feathers or interesting seed pods, we like to collect these little things and display them at home. 
For awhile now, I’ve been meaning to photograph our growing collection in hopes that they can become a regular feature on our blog, since it seems that we’re always finding something new. So, today I finally got around to photographing the first installment of our “Found Treasures.” Hope you enjoy them!

Feathers (collected between 2008 – 2012)
I don’t know what kinds of feathers these are. If anyone has any idea, I would love to know! Aren’t they beautiful?
This Calvin & Hobbes comic pretty much sums up my feelings exactly whenever we find something neat. 
Recently, a family friend and I were laughing about how she went on vacation one year and came home with a suitcase full of rocks. Andrew is slightly concerned about our upcoming vacation to the beach and the amount of shells that may find their way home with us! I’ll do my best to keep it under control.
xo,
c.
Sometimes, it’s the simple things that make kids the happiest. Awhile ago, we noticed Quil had started hanging on the edge of our kitchen table. His little fingers gripped the edge while he hung suspended in a seated position about four inches from the floor. He would swing for about five seconds before he couldn’t hold on any longer. He seemed to enjoy it so much that Andrew decided to install a swinging bar in our hallway using closet hardware and a big wooden dowel.
Our three biggest considerations were that it had to be safe, removable and simple enough that Quil could set it up himself. 
To keep it safe, we left it close enough to the ground that he if he were to slip and fall, he would still be able to land on his feet. 
Also, in our initial attempt we realized that the bar had a tendency to spin as Quil was swinging which would cause him to fall if he didn’t have a super tight grip. To remedy this, Andrew drilled a hole in the dowel and put a peg into the hole. He then drilled a hole for this peg to rest in the bottom of the open-ended brace, as seen in the photo below. This keeps the dowel from moving around within the hardware.
A few things to note if you decide to try this yourself. Make sure you use a dowel rod that is not too thick for your child’s grip, but is still strong enough to hold their weight. You want them to be able to hold it comfortably, but still need it to be strong. We only recommend doing this in a narrow-ish hallway. If the distance is too far apart, it might put too much strain and cause your dowel to break.
xo,
c.

Since the little ones came along, we’ve really been putting effort into creating family traditions for them to look forward to every year. With Ellis being so young, we decided to start with something fun and simple this year – making fingerprint ornaments for us and the Grandparents.

This idea actually came from an ornament that my younger sister, Flora, made at school when she was little. One of my other sisters found it amongst my parents decorations and thought it be fun to make with our own kids. They turned out super cute!

However, these weren’t as easy as we’d hope. I think it mainly had to do with their age. As the kids get older, I imagine it will get easier but it was actually quite difficult to get fingerprints from a 4 month old! Less so from Q, who is rounding on 3 years pretty soon. But still not quite as easy as I’d hoped. Ellis’ hands just kept grasping my fingers and the ink would get everywhere and smear. Quil would just push super hard on the paper so his fingerprints were just blobs! Plus, both their prints are soooo tiny. It was hard to get a clearly defined print. I also think we didn’t use the best ink pad, so the actual pattern from their fingerprints weren’t really distinct.

Next year, we’ll experiment more to find what ink and paper combo works best. But if you want to give it a try, these are the supplies you’ll need:

  • ink pad (washable, non-toxic, child-safe ink) – preferably in a light enough color that you’ll be able to see the lines when you draw on top of the fingerprint. We used a grey.
  • multiple sheets of cardstock – a patterned background sheet is optional
  • wooden drapery rings – you can get these usually at a craft store like Joann Fabrics or Michaels or Hobby Lobby
  • ribbon – thin enough to fit through the eyelets of the drapery rings
  • archival ink pens – I used a Micron .05 pen for the black details, and felt tip pens for the holly
  • glue

We started off by just doing a bunch of fingerprints of each kid all over the sheets of the cardstock. We figured it would just be easier to center them after the fact, rather than try to get the kids to place their fingers perfectly in the center of a small circle. I used Ellis’ thumb since her fingers are microscopic. And Quil used his index finger.

Be sure that you leave enough space around each fingerprint so that it can be mounted onto the drapery ring. This is why I had to use the patterned paper on Ellis’ portrait. I accidentally had the particular fingerprint I wanted to use too close to one of the others. This resulted in a paper circle not big enough to mount on the drapery ring. To remedy this, I cut out around the fingerprint I wanted to use and, with a mounting square, affixed it to a larger circle cut from the decorative paper. I then mounted that larger circle onto the drapery ring.

After the fingerprints were dry, we chose the best ones and used this book as inspiration for drawing creatures. I chose the snail for Ellis and an owl for Quil. I also did simple portraits of each of the kids with their respective prints.

Cut around your drawing making sure it’s big enough to glue onto the drapery ring. We then wrote the kids’ names on the back with the year, applied glue around the front edge of your circle, then attached it to the drapery ring. Add your ribbon and you’re done! Here are all of ours:

We hope to do this with them every year and eventually have them do the drawings themselves. I probably will look forward to this tradition more than they will!

-c.